This morning, I played the cancer card for the first time. And I didn’t think twice.
Someone I’ve never met, who’s looking for a planning job, e-mailed me to request an interest interview. I’ve done dozens of these in my professional life, and this is the first time I recall having said no. I’ve always given my time to industry newbies in recognition of the fact that I was one once – back when the dinosaurs roamed the earth – and back then, there were experienced people who were kind to me. But, I found this woman annoying. She’s a friend of a person I’ve met twice, for whom I opened a door that landed him a job – and now I feel pressured to find one for her. That’s not how the process is supposed to work.
So, when I read her ‘tell me when you can meet with me’ e-mail, it took all of 30 seconds to respond. ‘I’m sorry to tell you that the timing’s not good. You see, I have cancer....’ I was direct – but not tactless – and I got what I wanted. I offered advice, wished her success in her search, and got away clean. I’m not used to putting myself first, or saying no; I just think I should for a while.
But what if I learn to like it?
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Putting yourself first is a big step and I am glad you see the importance in doing that. Gold star for you!!!!!
ReplyDeleteDon't think twice about putting yourself first. What's that old chestnut you hear every time you are on a flight..... 'please secure your OWN oxygen mask before attempting to help someone else secure theirs'. Perhaps if, as women, we had learned early and often how to care for ourselves FIRST (like men?)we could be healthier and happier :)
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